From Chris Lemig's blog The Narrow Way. Check out his introductory column on his travels and quest through India here.
If you love somebody, set them free.
I don’t know if Sting had a situation like mine in mind when he wrote that, but it’s been ringing in my head all morning.
When I came out five years ago, a relationship wasn’t on my mind at all. I had a few flings but once I got deeper into both Buddhism and writing, I just didn’t feel the need to be with anyone. I wasn’t being pretentious or fearful of commitment. It was just, for the first time in my life, I was happy and content with simply being me.
And I still am.
So when I met Miguel in India a few months ago, I wasn’t looking for a relationship. But when we talked for the first time outside of Tibetan grammar class and discovered we were both really, really into Buddhism (Miguel was already planning to attend a three-year retreat in early 2013), we were both smitten.
Here’s the thing. Meeting a compatible partner is tough enough. With criteria that includes being gay, a Tibetan Buddhist, sobriety-minded and acceptance of a life that's about to veer off into the traditional three-year retreat, the pool of available men shrinks to about the size of a teacup. When you find someone who fits all the criteria, you have no choice but to stop and take a closer look.
Chris Lemig spent twenty-three years of his life in the dark closet of addiction and self-hatred. After coming out as being gay in 2007, he discovered the teachings of the Buddha and never looked back. He is deeply concerned with issues relating to the mental and spiritual wellbeing of modern culture and is looking for ways to bring happiness and contentment back into our lives. Chris is currently on a yearlong sabbatical in India where he is studying Buddhism and Tibetan language. He writes about his experiences and the practical applications of the Buddhadharma on his blog, The Narrow Way.